October is always my favorite month of the year for TV. As a horror film fanatic, having shows like The Walking Dead and the Netflix Original Hemlock Grove is basically my equivalent to waking up on Christmas morning. In case you weren’t bombarded by the overtly sexual “Serpent” promo ads or were already aware, American Horror Story is back. While the first season gave us a spooky murder house and the second season a psychotic asylum, the third installment gives us a witchy boarding school, voodoo queens, and killer vaginas.


Yes, killer vaginas. Much like the taboo themes that Asylum and Murder House touched upon, the premiere centered mainly on teenage witch Zoe with some seriously lethal lady parts, and her being shipped off to Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, a school for the few remaining descendants of the Salem witches after accidentally killing her boo. We soon come across her peers: a telekenetic ex-movie star played by Emma Roberts, a human voodoo doll played by Precious star Gabourey Sidibe, and a clairvoyant who never hesitates to rat out her classmates. Their headmistress is Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson), constantly bickering with her mother/grand supreme witch, Fiona Goode. Played by silver vixen Jessica Lange, Fiona is obsessed with finding eternal youth and -*spoiler alert*- sucking that youth out of young men. Of course, we also once again encounter the babely Evan Peters, this time as a fraternity brother who we don’t quite realize the intentions of until an unexpected, uber-controversial plot twist. Oh, and that’s not even touching upon the impending Voodoo rivalry that is merely prefaced in the first episode.

Much like Ryan Murphy’s other shows that continually push the boundaries of cable television, AHS is as ruthless as ever and I am stoked to see what the producers have in store.