sixteen

Ah, yes.Valentines season. This is the time of year when I like to get all mushy-gushy about life, and hang up hundreds of dollars worth of V-day decorations all over my apartment. This is ALSO the time of year when I like to sit back and day-dream about the love life I do NOT have.  Depressing…I know, you don’t have to tell me twice. While movies like to make you think that on Valentines day EVERYONE is on some romantic date being proposed to, the real facts are people are actually spending the evening cooking themselves Easy Mac and watching Full House re-runs for hours on end (Sorry to be the Debbie Downer!).With that being the case, I  have gradually ended up living vicariously through countless romantic comedies – the ones that usually star some dreamy hunk like Ryan Gosling or Matthew McConaughey (YUM), while I picture myself as Drew Barrymore meeting a total babe at the local laundromat. Of course, this is real life, and things like that just don’t ‘happen. It’s moments like these which make me wish my life was a scripted serendipitous teen-dream movie, and unfortunately I have a feeling you do too. Here’s 5 reasons why your life (AND MINE) is NOT like a romantic comedy:

1. Those dream guys…the ones that look like Freddie Prinze Jr. in real life, aren’t always as perfect as they make them look in the movies. I mean…neither are we! Heck – I have more flaws than I can count on 20 hands! So to those girls who have a specific “Mr. Perfect” check-list they keep in their mental file cabinet…just rip that thing to pieces.

ryan

2. The laundromat is the WORST place to pick up a guy! Seriously! I’ve tried it, and it ended in total disaster. Just think about it: all your little secrets wind up in your laundry basket, even if you don’t try to put them there. Who knows? Your ‘dream man’ might still sleep in his 10 year old Batman PJs he refuses to abandon. Also, how can you have a serious conversation while children are screaming and playing 4 feet away from you, and the boisterous sound of the washer machine echoes within the tiny space? Not as romantic as you’d like to think, right?

40d

3. You’re a starving artist eating ramen every night, who hasn’t had cable in 5 years…so why do these movies like to glamorize your lifestyle through the film? Let’s be real – what barista do you know who just graduated school and works 12 hour shifts each day, lives in a humongous apartment in the center of Manhattan, and has time to have drinks every night at one of the chicest restaurants in town? Get out of here with that!

raising helen

4. The first kiss isn’t as epic as you’d like it to be. First kisses can actually be really awkward. Seriously. Bad breath? Strange hand placement? Weird…

first kiss

5. Despite what your favorite movie might show – sometimes when you end up dating your bestfriend’s ex, you don’t always remain friends. Haven’t you heard of the rules of feminism? (Mean Girls Joke…). Not cool, girlfriend.

Something Borrowed

…Did that just bum you out as much as it did me? In that case, I apologize! What do you think should be added to this list? What are some points made in a romantic comedy that are just not realistic? I want to hear it all!